Both Sides Now

We Are Moving

2010-01-09T10:48:00.001+08:00

Good morning,

The blog has been home for the past 8 months.
Many late nights and ghostly hours were spend here, penning the thoughts, emotions, ramblings etc..

It has been good for this insomniac.
Certainly has kept him occupied and entertained in his restlessness and sleeplessness.

New year, new beginning.
Now that it is 2010, it is a right time for a change.
Time to close this chapter, and find a new home, with some fresh look and feel, content and ideas.

So, watch out for the new blog in your email soon.

More midnight madness to come, be assured.

Stay tuned *wink*

Josh

Update @ 3 Feb 2010:

Still working on it, friends. Soon, hopefully.

“Every end is a new beginning.”

~ Unknown

One Birthday Wish

2010-01-04T23:59:00.007+08:00

If you asked me to name my birthday wishes over these 40 odd years, the answer will be simple.

Why?
Because I have only 1 birthday wish.

Seriously. The single, same one.

It was first taught by my grandparents.
Then, it became personal as I was growing up.
After that, a constant companion over all these years.

So, do forgive me if you find me wanting to be alone every time that January 4 is around the corner.

I just wanted time to think and evaluate.
Of how far I have come.

Thank you friends for remembering today.
Your thoughtfulness have made it special for me.

I wish you wisdom, above all else.

“God said, ask for anything you want and you shall have it. Solomon answered, I am but only a child. Grant me wisdom, above all else.”

~ 1 Kings 3:9 (Bible)

Adieu, 2009

2009-12-31T07:30:00.002+08:00

I have been up since 5.30am this morning.

Waiting.

For the dawn of this last day of 2009.
Reflecting as I bid goodbye to the passing 365 days of tumultuous unpredictability and upheavals.

Bitter lessons, sweet joys.
I have lost much but gained much in return.
And for that, I have those who have crossed my path and shared their lives with me to thank.

Man plans, but God directs.

May 2010 helps Josh be Josh, and let God be God.
Que sera sera.

I Asked God

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, so I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, so I might feel the need for God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

~ Anonymous

“Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. The future is not ours to see. Que sera sera,
what will be, will be.”

~ Doris Day

That Christmas Magic

2009-12-24T11:54:00.001+08:00

I grew up in a Christian family, so Christmas has been around me for the longest time.

Every 25th Dec. Year in, year out.

But I never did got bored of it.

In fact, it gets better with each passing year.
Christmas never failed to bring a smile to my face.
The magic continues, as a child or otherwise.

What is so special about Christmas, you ask me?

It is that indescribable, warm feeling.

The one that you get;
From restoration of broken relationships,
From finding long lost friends and loved ones,
From the courage to do the right thing,
From triumphs of the human spirit.

But above all, Christmas is simply magical to me,
Because it allows me to dare dream.

That there could yet be hope for us mankind,
If we choose unselfishness and love.

May the magic of Christmas be in your heart.

Peace and goodwill, dear friends.

“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.”

~ Dale Evans Rogers

Rear-Mirrored Life

2009-12-20T05:48:00.000+08:00

We are working overtime to meet the deadline.
The stakes are high. Do-or-die situation.
The outcome remains uncertain.

Christmas is around the corner, but there are no festive joy or peace among us.

But, I have learn much the past weeks.
About people, situational wisdom and tough love.
And about faithfulness - that He is still there for us, despite our failings.

Humbling yet valuable lessons in character building, as I looked back in retrospect.

Maybe, this is the secret of living.
That our lives are lived, not by figuring out where we are going, but by learning the hindsight lessons of where we have been?

Our ordeal is not over yet. The pressure is still on.
The deadline and consequences, all very real.

But I will try, to take it in a stride.
To embrace life as it comes, and as it goes.
Even if I cannot see beyond the dark clouds ahead.

The rear mirror shall be my guide.

“Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.”

~ Anonymous

I Remember A Face

2009-12-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

It came in a dream..

Haunting memories of days past,

I remember a face..

The thoughtfulness, the company,

I remember a smile..

The outline of peaceful serenity,

I remember a laughter..

All the good times were not for waste,

I remember a dance..

And we were never in any haste,

I remember a journey..

We grew to know each other so well,

And, I remember the finale..

Our lives forever the story to tell!

Proud of you, always.

“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

~ The Wonder Years

Rethink Fatherhood

2009-12-07T23:52:00.003+08:00

With our baby boy on the way, it is time to rethink fatherhood as I have known it to be.

How do I relate to a son, instead of a daughter?

How can I nurture masculinity, without the extremes?

I have not come across many good role models of “father-and-son” bonding so far in my life. Honestly, those that I know felt more like the lyrics from “Living Years”.

It will be a watershed journey ahead.
Do pray for me, I will need it.

Living Years (Excerpt)

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

I wasn't there that morning,
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

~ Mike & The Mechanics

“One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, make me the kind of man my Dad is.
Later that night, the father prayed, Dear God, make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.”

~ Anonymous

As Good As It Gets

2009-12-04T23:56:00.002+08:00

All of us have a propensity to do our best.
To strive, to excel in life.

The question is - when is our best good enough?

I am by nature a perfectionist.
Task-driven, at times to the point of insanity.

Perhaps it is personal upbringing.
Dad always said that one should be the best,
In whatever he or she does.

Or maybe it was just my deep insecurity.
The need for affirmation, phobia of being a failure.

Either case, I have mellowed over the years.
Guess it is just realisation that there is no perfect life.
That perhaps, this is as good as it gets?

If so, why not focus on doing the best I can today,
Rather than how much better I ought to be tomorrow?

Life is a journey, not a destination.
Slow down, smell some roses, whistle a happy tune.
I think we will still make it at the end.

*wink*

“I never had a policy;
I just tried to do my very best each and every day.”

~Abraham Lincoln

December

2009-12-01T07:35:00.001+08:00

It would be easier to state the usual “how time flies!” now that December has arrived.

But, strangely, time did not fly for me this year.
In fact, it has sort of moved in slow motion.
In reverse.

One big cycle.
Bitter, sweet, ups and downs.
Many days of learning and unlearning.

What a mixture of emotions that it has been!

But, all in all, plenty to give thanks come year end.

Ah, December December!
Time to

sit back, kick off the shoes and reflect a bit.
And pen down the thoughts of the days past,
as reminders for the days ahead.

Let it snow, wherever you are today.
*smile*

“God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.”

~ James M. Barrie

The Reward

2009-11-27T02:05:00.004+08:00

His watch showed 10.30pm.
The airport was quiet. Not many were in sight.

He cuts a lone figure as he headed for the counter.

Presumably everyone has completed their check-in earlier on.

He was the last one.

It has been a gruelling week at work.

Long hours of planning, presentations and discussions.

Difficult debates and straight talking.

But he was happy.
The long drawn, political saga has turned the corner.
The verdict is out, and truth has prevailed.

The arrogant has been shamed.
And the deserving given their recognition.

He was glad for his triumphant comrades.
And even more proud to be part of that change.

His efforts have paid off.

And while it is yet early days, things can only improve from now on.

A sense of satisfaction filled his heart.

Such must be the days when all the sacrifices;
sweat, blood and tears, felt worth while.

His reward beckoned to him.
Two Dunkin doughnuts and a hot cup of coffee,
as he awaited the boarding call for his flight home.

The simple pleasures in life.
That will do, he said smilingly to himself.

“Achievement is its own reward.”

~ David Lynch

Why God?

2009-11-23T23:59:00.002+08:00

Had coffee with an old friend tonight.

He was deeply embittered with his present state.
Felt hard done by, and questioned why God allowed such unfairness to befall him.

Take heart, friend. He knows.

May this old blog entry helps you find peace within.

1.26.05 (12:22 pm)

Why does God allows suffering and injustice,
especially to the innocents?

Opinions, perspectives, reasoning, justifications.
If one try hard enough, one can probably come up all the right "Christianised" words for a response, lacing our answer with spiritually-correct verses to support.

The plain truth is - I don’t know.

I have struggled long and hard with this notion,
And I have also come to accept that perhaps there is no one single answer to my satisfaction.

Not now and likely not in this lifetime.

In the vacuum of a perfect answer, what can I do?

Pray for them, cry with them, care for them.
Do my best to help them tide over, and accept that my sovereign God will make all things right someday when we see Him face-to-face.

I believe in that hope.

“I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health. I said, 'There's nothing that I can do for you that you can't do for yourself.' He said, 'Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand.' So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt. He said, 'I think I'm cured.'”

~ Conor Oberst

Carry Your Weather

2009-11-20T20:24:00.003+08:00

Life is a funny thing sometimes.
It teaches you lessons when you least expected it.

Learnt a simple truth this week.
When our situation appears hopeless and unalterable, the best thing to do is to change ourselves.

We do have a choice,
Of how we want to respond to life.

Whether to focus on what we can improve,
Or to groan resignedly about those which we cannot.

Excellence, goodness and kind deeds.
When we choose positivity, we will soon realise that,
Nothing can rob us of our joy and happiness.
If we do not allow them to do so.

Learn to carry our own weather, friends.
And we will see the sunshine on beautiful rainbow, Even through the darkest storms.

Much love and blessings.

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”

~ Anthony J. D'Angelo
(The College Blue Book)

Lost & Found

2009-11-17T22:47:00.001+08:00

A gentle reminder to stop asking.
Where were You, Lord, when I needed You the most?

And instead, to reflect and ponder.
Where was I, when He needed me the most?

Finding Home

We all search
Search for that one place
That would fill the space

The space inside
That space that can
Only be filled by one occurrence

It would make us feel like we were home
We go along the path
Trying to find our way

But what if God is doing the same?
What if He is trying to find His way home?
And with your permission, His home,
Is your heart?

~ Liz Cosline

“If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.”

~ Lewis Caroll
(Alice In Wonderland)

An Equal Family

2009-11-14T14:20:00.006+08:00

Amongst the many frequently asked questions of us,
the most popular one is about our children.

As in those unborn ones.

The “so-when-are-you-gonna-do-it” kind.

As you know, we have a daughter.
Jasmine is a great girl,

obedient and gentle in spirit.
Joyce calls her “baby” and to me, she is “princess”.
Her jovial presence adds colours to our lives.

We thank God for her.

So, if Joyce and myself were to have another child,
do we have a preference for a girl or a boy?

Our truest answer is - none.

We would love him or her just the same.
Because health is more important than gender.
And because, we know it is heaven sent.

We received a good news this week.

Joyce is expecting a boy.

A pair of boy and girl. And a pair of proud parents.
An equal family, as our dear Jasmine puts it.

What more can we ask for?
Thank God. Amen.

“I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.”

~ Dan Wilcox & Thad Mumford
(M*A*S*H)

Soul Searchin’

2009-11-03T13:29:00.001+08:00

My mind is like the weather of late.
Stormy, overcast, clearing showers, silver linings,
But not quite sunny.

Need to get away and quieten myself down.
Some soul searching will help.
Be back in a while.

Reason & Passion (Excerpt)

Your soul is often times a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."

And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."

And since you are a breath in God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.

~ Khalil Gibran

“There is an eternal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives.”

~ Josephine Hart

Call Me “Sue”

2009-10-31T12:57:00.010+08:00

I must have been a really popular guy.
People love to give me “terms of endearment”,
so much so that I have lost track of its count so far.
Another one was added today.

Either that, or I have a face which says:
“Please give it to me. NOW.”

In any case, here are 4 of my “best” nicknames:

”George”

This was from our first home renovation contractor.
I gave up trying to correct him after the 20th time on his first day of work. Never argue with a Chinaman with a drill or hammer.

“Howard”
My dear uncle must have thought that christianising my Chinese name was a great idea. My younger relatives fondly refer to me as “Howie” nowadays. And in time, when they finally have kids, I shall be “Uncle How”.

”Badak”
Everyone had immuninisation in primary school, myself included. Except that they needed 3 syringes for me because the first 2 somehow broke! And so it began, the legendary tales of the boy with Badak (Rhinocheros) skin.

”Sue”
My Australian university conveniently dropped my Christian name and registering me as “Sue H Chua”.
I ended up as one of the hottest, hard-to-get “babes” in the whole computer lab, having to perpetually reject on-line chats and indecent proposals!

OK, I admit. It’s the face!

“A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet (hic).”

~ William Shakespeare

Borrowed Light

2009-10-28T23:59:00.012+08:00

How can you bring natural light,
Into enclosed spaces that don’t open fully to outside?

One approach is to share light.
In architecture term, “borrowed light”.

The idea is to allow light from brightly lit sources to artificially illuminate their dark, adjacent places. While it is not an exact substitute for true light, this concept is still an effective way to ensure that our homes, for example, are less gloomy and dreary.

The same goes for life too.

There will be lean and dry spells,
Times when we had to sigh, instead of smile.

And when almost-filled glasses still seemed so empty.
In our dimmed, flickering light of day.

Hence the need to “borrow light”.

To enjoy the good company of friends,
To laugh heartily at the shared jokes and satires,
And to have great, inspiring conversations.

So that we are encouraged,
To persevere and keep on going,
In this long, oft uneven journey called life.

And be reminded, that we are not alone in it all.

Thank you friends for the “borrowed lights”.
And for bringing back the missing smile today.

Remember to claim it back someday.
*smile*

“Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.”

~ Jennie Jerome Churchill

In One’s Shoes

2009-10-25T23:59:00.006+08:00

Someone said that he envies me.

Especially my jet-setting job.
The chance to travel all over the places.
Meet people, experience culture, try new things etc.

Must be exciting, he said.
Unlike his boring life, he sighed.

I just smiled at him.
If only he knows the story of my life.

How easy it is to be dissatisfied with our lives.
To whine that our grass is not as green as others.
To wallow in self-pity, feeling sorry and believing that we are the one with the shortest end of the stick.
In the whole wide world.

But surely, as we know, there is no perfect life.

For all of the upsides, there will be downsides.
And red minuses for the blue pluses.

So before we feel aggrieved by other’s good fortunes, perhaps it is wise to remember that they too have their struggles and crosses to bear.

We might then realised how blessed we are,
if we live their lives for a moment.

At the end of the day,
The pair of shoes which fits us best is our own.

Learn to be contented in it.

“To be happy, it first takes being comfortable being in your own shoes. The rest can work up from there.”

~ Sophia Bush

Simple Truth

2009-10-22T10:22:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not writing earlier.
This past week has been difficult for me at work,
fraught with challenges and obstacles.

It was not the workload or client issues actually.

Ironically, those were the easiest of the lot.

Rather, it was the energy-sapping politicking.

The ego clashes, mind games, betrayals, cover-ups.
Friends turned foes, and enemies, accidental allies.
Cloak-and-dagger stuff.

What you see was really not what you get.

Almost everything and anything.

Which made me ponder about “truth”.
How rare this commodity is nowadays, isn’t it?

Truth has become a relative term.
A notion to be manipulated, bastardised and twisted,

To achieve the ends of a motive, a goal.

Has the simple truth lost its simplicity?
Is there no more room for honesty & integrity?

As it was said, let our ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and ‘no’ be ‘no’.
Anything beyond that comes from the Devil.
Lest we stand condemned.

I am reminded, and forewarned.

“When in doubt, tell the truth.”

~ Mark Twain

The Man Who Died

2009-10-17T17:39:00.010+08:00

What good will it be for a man,
If he gains the whole world, but forfeits his soul?

Yet, what good is a soul,
If one finds no joy in being alive?

The Man Who Died

There once was a story about a man who died
Though he had a family, no one had cried
There were no drugs and no signs of suicide
And yet this man had simply died

The man had food to eat and books to read
And yet he still had a need
The man lived life from day to day
Yet there was no one to help him pray

He had a place to lay his weary head
And still felt cold inside instead
He had all kinds of people and things around
Yes, he lived life safe and sound

And yet no one cried
When they laid him in the ground

The man was not dead when he died
For he had already died deep inside
Though he had lots of plans and a wonderful start

The man simply died of a broken heart

~ Anonymous

“Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be this hard. Oh take me back to the start.”

~ Coldplay (The Scientist)

The Sound of Silence

2009-10-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

What do you say when words are not enough?

May the silence kills and heals.

The Sound of Silence

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted,
in my brain, still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed,
By the flash of neon light,
That split the night,
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share,
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, You do not know.
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said,
The words of the prophets
Are written on subway walls,

And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.

~ Paul Simon

"Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise.”

~ Proverbs 17:28 (Bible)

Boy In Striped Pyjamas

2009-10-11T22:29:00.004+08:00

I watched “The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas” back in Perth today.

Set during World War II, it told the story of a forbidden friendship between two 8-year old boys. Bruno, the son of a Nazi commandant, and Shmuel, a Jewish child.

Their bond was developed over the daily interactions across two sides of the fences in a concentration camp. Bruno could not understand why his new found friend always wore “pyjamas” and was unable to come out and play with him, at will.

Bruno’s curiosity and loyalty finally made him dug his way through, disguised in “pyjamas”. He wanted to help Shmuel find his father, who has suddenly gone missing. The climatic scene showed their quest as friends ended in startling discovery and unexpected consequences.

There were several notable points about the movie,
but what struck me most was on childhood.

Childhood is a memorable time.
It is a phase when life is uncomplicated,

When the

days are easy going and fun-filled,

Uncoloured by prejudices and biases.

Let our children be children.

Don’t prematurely deny them of precocious innocence, And beset them with demanding rigours of adulthood.

There will be time for that, soon enough.

This is probably our best gift that we can give to them,
amidst the chaos and cares in a lifetime.

“Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows.”

~ John Betjeman

Another Day In Paradise

2009-10-08T18:00:00.008+08:00

She must have stood there for a while now.

Watching, waiting.

For a willing customer to come by.
For a trade to be done.

A few cars slowed to look, but there were no takers.

Beads of perspiration started to gather on her forehead.

Earnings had been meagre.

Around her, a few street kids looked on eagerly.
Their outstretched arms dangled out to the passers-by.

Hoping for loose changes to foot meals for the day.

A car finally stopped by her.
After a brief exchange, she opened the car door and got into its backseat where the man was waiting.

The kids approached the car as it was pulling away.

They knocked tirelessly on its tinted windows, hoping for sympathetic attention.

The

driver tried to shoo them off at the behest of his master, to no avail.
They had refused to budge.

The car halted, and a window soon rolled down.
The lady reached out with some money for the children.

The least has chosen to give, while the affluent
sat stoically in silent.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs indeed is the kingdom of God.

It’s just a day in paradise.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.”

~ Matthew 5:7 (Bible)

A Dignified Goodbye

2009-10-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

I am stumped.

At loss for words, to say the least.

Certainly flattered, but mostly awkward.

Thanks for the SMS.
I had not seen it coming, to be honest.

But, I must admit, it was not inconceivable given our time spent together at work.

New York will be good for you.
It is an excellent place to grow professionally.
Plenty of career opportunities and challenging projects to practise the consulting trade.

There will also be new people to meet too.

Younger men your age, and more exciting, no doubt.

I appreciate the dignified goodbye.

The thoughtfulness in keeping our relationship professional till your departure will be remembered.

For that, I thank you.

My family thank you.

Farewell and best wishes for the days ahead.

The camaraderie shall be missed.

Bon voyage, and Godspeed.

"Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”

~ Abraham Joshua Heschel (The Insecurity of Freedom)

Cuts Both Ways

2009-10-02T23:21:00.001+08:00

A friend told me that he is contemplating divorce.
Asked me whether he should do it or not.

His marriage is on the rocks.
The situation has deteriorated to a point of no return,
so much so that the frequent verbal battles have turned into physical abuses.

Their marriage was a result of a whirlwind romance.
They met, and fell head over heels for each other.
Love was in the air, and everything was rosy.
He soon proposed, and she accepted.

Everything happened so quickly that we were shocked, including his parents. The news was least expected, since he just came off a relationship then.

They wedded out of love, after 6 months of courtship.
And it is now fast unravelling, 3 years later.

I could only listen silently as my pal shared his woes.
I do not have any easy answer for him.

Regardless of his final decision, one thing is certain – there can be no happy ending, either side.

Divorce cuts both ways.
No one gets out unscathed when love fails.
The will be a price to pay, emotionally or mentally.
And, the tab is often on the children.

Stop and stare. Think hard before you leap.
Marrying for the wrong reasons is not necessarily better than being contentedly single.

Let time be the best the judge of all.
And, if you believe in faith, pray for wisdom.
These have never failed me.

“There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Maybe sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

~ Patti Smyth & Don Henley

Desert Soliloquay

2009-09-29T23:52:00.008+08:00

When, dear Lord, when?

Will you break the deafening silence,
Remove the false dawns and daybreaks,
Cover the echoes of void and pain,
In this unseen wilderness.

Do not hide Your face, dear Lord.

Leave not this child to his foolish designs,

Meandering along the desert of nothingness,

In between the living and the dead,

Alone and fearful.

Hasten the deliverance, dear Lord.

Time and tide waits for no man,
And the spirit is willing, but the flesh weak,

But, nothing is ever impossible with You,
Yesterday, today, tomorrow.

A broken spirit and a contrite heart.
You will not despise.

You promised.

"When you saw only one set of footprints during those times of trials, it was then that He carried you."

~ Margaret Fishback Powers (Footprints in the Sand)

Anyway

2009-09-26T22:09:00.009+08:00

An entry on Facebook saddened me.
Reminded me of how fickle the human heart can be.

How the best of intentions could still be misconstrued,

And praises quickly became curses.

How good friends turned into bitter foes,

And the past love and kindness easily forgotten,
when someone else came along.

Is the right thing still worth doing then?
Here’s a point to ponder.

Anyway (Excerpt)

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centred;
Love them anyway.

If you do good, you will be accused of selfish motives;
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you build may be destroyed overnight;
Build anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

‘Cos in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
Never between you and them, anyway.

~ Mother Teresa
(found inscribed in her Calcutta children home)

“The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all.”

~Leo Rosten

A Gentleman Cook?

2009-09-23T15:04:00.002+08:00

Mom and Dad are in Perth, visiting for 2 weeks.
It is good for all of us – they get to see Jasmine, and I get to spend time with them.

I relate to both of my parents differently.
Not surprising since they are about 180 degrees apart, character-wise (despite both being school teachers).

My bonding with Dad is more intellectual.
Our definition of time together is to engage in endless (meaningless) rounds of debates on shared topics of interests, e.g. current affairs, global economy, Malaysian politics etc.

With Mom, it’s slightly more tricky.
Most of her time was spent cooking for the family.
She would prefer trading recipes to trading shares, curries instead of currencies, and bakery, not bailout.

Which means, to bond with Mom is to be in the kitchen.
Learning to cook or washing the dishes.

Which is great, actually.

Over the years, the time spent with Mom in the kitchen did not only helped me get to know her better, but made me realised that I truly enjoyed cooking.

In fact, many would not guess that my comfort spot at home is in the kitchen. I would rather cook for leisure, instead of toying with electronic gadgetries, ogling fancy cars and babes, and other supposedly more
“masculine” hobbies.

Hmm, should I be worried?

“Cookery has become a noble art, a noble science; cooks are gentlemen.”

~ Robert Burton

Coo, The Fat Worm

2009-09-20T23:49:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a worm named Coo.
He stayed in a faraway land called Lala, where food was scarce due to a severe famine.

One day, Coo saw a piece of cake while out for a stroll. He rubbed his hands gleefully and quickly gobbled up the entire slice in a blink of an eye. Coo then burped and continued happily on his way.

Shortly after that, he came across an ice-cream.
Coo really could not believe his good fortunes that day. Although he was full, the greedy worm decided to eat up the whole cone there and then.

While he was licking it, he heard a voice behind him.
It was his friend, Adam the Ant.

Adam: Hi Coo. What are you doing?
Coo: Erm, nothing.
Adam: Did you find any food? I am hungry.
Coo: Nope (as he hid the ice-cream behind a tree)
Adam: OK then. Take care. Bye.

Coo had lied to keep the ice-cream to himself.
He was a selfish worm.

After finishing the ice-cream, Coo was too full to move.
He patted his big stomach and decided to rest beneath the tree for a while.

Unknowingly to Coo, a big black bird was circling up in the sky above the tree. It spotted the worm, and with a loud squawk, swooped down towards him.

Coo saw the bird coming and tried to escape.
Unfortunately, the fat worm was too heavy to run.
The bird caught Coo and ate him up.

Moral of the story:
Do not be selfish and greedy.
Else you will probably end up fat, or food.

The storyteller lives in Perth. He enjoys making up odd bedtime stories for his beloved daughter, Jasmine.
This is one of her all-time favourites.

“Laughter is timeless.
Imagination has no age.
And dreams are forever.”

~ Walt Disney

Changing Seasons

2009-09-17T00:10:00.007+08:00

Winter in Australia is coming to an end.
Soon, sunshine and blue skies will be here.

What a relief, I was never good at handling cold.

Spring will be pretty I am sure.
All the flowers in their full colours and splendour.
Green shoots and leaves, instead of barren trees.

Changing seasons often remind me of life.
The ups and downs. Thick and thin. Good and bad.

Everything seems to happen in one big cycle.
What goes around, comes around.

Just as seasons change, people do too.
We adapt, we adjust and we grow along with time.

Subtly, gradually, but surely.

Will we change for the better or the worse ahead?
Only time will tell.

Is it

summer in your life right now?
If so, be thankful. Enjoy the moment and have fun.
Remember to store up for lesser days.

If not, then persist on. Don’t give up.
The cold and bitter winter never last forever.
Your beautiful rainbow will soon come.

Peace and blessings.

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.”

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Have A Heart

2009-09-14T19:00:00.002+08:00

The raised decibels rudely woke everyone up aboard the New York bound SQ flight.

Her attempted apology had failed.

The passenger remained visibly upset, as he continued to shout and berate her incessantly over the accident.
His wet notebook could no longer be booted up.

The lead steward tried to diffuse the situation.
The flustered, rookie stewardess stood haplessly and silently behind him. All necks across the plane were now strained like ostriches to watch the ensuing drama.
The incident lasted almost 1 hour.

I saw the stewardess again when we landed.
Thanked her, added a “there will be better days” line.
She could only managed a weak smile in return. Her freshly powdered-face probably hid the fact that she was crying earlier in the toilet.

Flying is not as easy as we think.

Despite its glamourous facade, many did not see the physical fatigue, emotion strains and disruptive lifestyle from living off suitcases, odd hour schedules, and coping with different time zones.

So, have a heart when you next fly.
Bear with the little imperfections where you can.
It will make their job a little easier.

Safe travel, wherever you are today.

“People think it would be fun to be a bird and fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.”

~ Jack Handey

I’ll Never Be The Same Again

2009-09-11T12:05:00.005+08:00

It has been 1 year since you left us.

But, the memories of you still linger on..

In our gatherings, our conversations, our laughter.
Our cherished moments of rekindled friendship.
Your unspoken presence were there.

The truth is that we miss you, Meng.
All of us do.

Especially me.

After all, we were each other’s first crush.
We were young, too shy to confess our feelings.
But, it was obvious that we were fond of one another. The sparks were unmistakable.

We always knew that our friendship would be special.
We both shared a soft spot for each other.

But, the similarity ended there.
Your heart were much bigger than mine.
You were cheerful, friendly and always ready to help.
Others were blessed because of your hospitality.

And, you did not forget our friendship.
I did.

For 22 years.

Until 5 Sept 2008.
Until when I had to be told about your passing.
Till when Jeff, your lovely husband, warmly shook my hand during the wake, and said:

”So, you are Joshua. Fiona always speaks fondly of you.”

I left that night a broken man.
In tears, in shame and in deep, bitter despair.
I could never be the same again.

I will not forget you, Meng. Never again.
And, when Sept 5 comes, I will do my best to be there.
To see a dear friend at her resting place in Subang.

Just as how I did last weekend.

But, you won’t see me crying then.
Instead, I will smile and say a prayer of gratitude.
For your life, and for the wonderful lessons of friendship that you have taught me.

We shall meet again someday.
Along those streets of gold, as promised to us.
Till then, my dear friend, rest in peace.

“Loved by many, because she loved many.”

~ Lee Goh Ai Meng, Fiona

(1969 - 2008)

Come, Rest Awhile

2009-09-03T11:42:00.000+08:00

What a month August has been.

Did not expect so many things to happen.
Thank God all ended well.

Look forward to my break.
Let the soul catches up a bit with the rest.

With what’s ahead in September, I will need it.

Be back in a week.

Stay tune!

Come, Rest Awhile

Come, rest awhile, and let us idly stray,
In glimmering valleys, cool and far away,

Come from the greedy mart, the troubled street,
And listen to the music, faint and sweet.

That echoes ever to a listening ear,
Unheard by those who will not pause to hear,

The wayward chimes of memory's pensive bells,
Wind-blown o'er misty hills and curtained dells.

One step aside and dewy buds unclose,
The sweetness of the violet and the rose,

Song and romance still linger in the green,
Emblossomed ways by you so seldom seen.

And near at hand, would you but see them lie,
All lovely things beloved in days gone by,

You have forgotten what it is to smile,
In your too busy life.

Come, rest awhile.

~

Lucy Maud Montgomery

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.”

~ Ashleigh Brilliant

He Still Moves Mountains

2009-08-31T22:54:00.004+08:00

I have the answer today.

Hope, once lost, is found again.
The life, once interrupted, can now resume.
The agonising 3 years wait is over.

Second chances are possible,
If you believe in your heart that miracles exist.

Amen, He still moves mountains.

Miracles (When You Believe)

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we’re not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

~ Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

~ Isaiah 40:31 (Bible)

My Home, The Airport

2009-08-28T22:06:00.002+08:00

I think I have a strong affinity with airports.

Somehow, they have always stuck with me for the longest of time. Come to think of it, all the way from late teens till now actually.

I had my first taste of airports when I was 18.

It was my infamous SIA cadet pilot interview.
I was at Changi Airport, and it was love at first sight!
Its terminals, the hustle and bustle, endless streaming crowds, soft piped-in music, and ethereal-like voices announcing flight departures and arrivals.

(I would have accepted the job if not for Dad. Think I would make a good captain, won’t you agree?)

My next airport encounter was Melbourne, varsity days. Landed in Tullamarine Airport one early Feb morning, bleary-eyed, in awe and shock (never seen so many Caucasians in my life till then!)

After graduation, started my career in a professional firm in Singapore. Was give my first assignment.
4-month in Changi Airport, auditing SIA!

From there, I ventured into consulting.
Participate in global and regional IT projects.
US, Europe, Asia Pacific, Southeast Asia and Australia. Jet-setting became second nature, and suddenly, the world as I know it felt smaller.

The rest, as they put it, was history.

So, here I am again.
Back in Singapore Changi airport once more.
Having coffee, people watching, and writing this blog.
In from Jakarta last night, out to Perth tonight.

3 airports, 3 days.
Yet, I was at ease. It was home ground.

Before my time on this earth is up, I would love to see the rest of the world’s great airports.

And, I am sure, they will be glad to see me too.
*smile*

“Some day my ship will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport.”

~ Anonymous

Sadness Of An Unread Book

2009-08-25T22:35:00.009+08:00

I stumbled upon an interesting book while doing my
“library-after-school” routine with Jasmine last week.

It was an autobiography of a lady.
Published in 1955, the book talked about her life during the days of US Great Depression in 1930s. From the date stamp, the book appeared to have found its way into the library around 1984.

Age aside, what caught my attention about the book was the content of its yellowing loan sheet.

It was blank.

It dawned upon me then that the book, with its pristine pages, might not even have been browsed through by someone in the library.

A book without an audience.
Neither borrowed nor read. Zilch. Nada.

Contrary to what the writer thought was newsworthy, others clearly did not share her enthusiasm. The harsh, cold fact was that not many people cared about the events in her life.

As I was driving Jasmine back that day, my thoughts were on life and existence.

Will I be missed, when I am gone someday?
Will others remember me, for all I have left behind?

Or, will I fade away quietly, unnoticed.
Just like the sad, unread book.

I wonder.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give”

~ Winston Churchill

The Longest Wait

2009-08-22T23:45:00.013+08:00

This wait is almost over.
Are we ready for the moment of truth?

Know that I am still waiting.
As how I have always waited all these years.
Patiently and steadfastly unchanged.

For the finality of answer.

The idealistic, hopelessly romantic me.
Always hoping and wishing.

For days without rain,
Goodness to beget kindness,
And grace and mercy to prevail.

For fairytale moments,
Light hearts, warm hugs, ceasing tears,
Requited love, happy-ever-afters.

一起寫我們的結局, 好吗?

“Even miracles take a little time”

~ Anonymous

Surviving A(H1N1)

2009-08-19T18:35:00.000+08:00

I was travelling non-stop a couple of weeks ago.
Early flights. late flights.

Almost one flight per day.
I was tired.

My immunity was down.

Landed in Perth at 1.30am.
It was a typical, chilling winter night.
Yet I felt warm, my forehead burning over 38 degrees.

Knew instinctively that I was in trouble.

Headed straight for the bed.
Did not bother to change, or wash up.
Just wanted to close my eyes, rest my weary bones.
Half-hoped that the feverish exhaustion would dissipate when morning came.

It never did. Got worse the next day.
Doctor took a look at me and confirmed my fears.

I had A(H1N1).

Did all that I could back home.

Quarantined and locked

myself in the bedroom.

Took medicine.

Sponged myself down.

Tried to rest.

And prayed. Prayed real hard.

The next 7 days were agonisingly miserable.
Headache, fever, bad sore throat, and body aches.
Sleep did not come easy at night.

But I survived, thank God.

Fortunate to get off relatively unscathed.
Many others did not.

Stay safe, dear friends.

Destiny may be in God’s hand.

But, know that wisdom of choices is with us.

These are uncertain times indeed..

“

Given that countries are no longer required to test and report individual cases, the number of cases reported actually understates the real number of cases.”

~ World Health Organisation (Disease Outbreak News, August 6, 2009)

Unforgiven

2009-08-16T23:44:00.007+08:00

It was 1 hour before our flight.
Mom has forgotten all about Jasmine’s passport.
She was due back in Perth the next day with Joyce, having spent school holidays in Malaysia.

My brother rushed to KL airport.
He did not make it. We missed our flight.

How could Mom be so forgetful?
Did I not remind her, yet again, last night?
How could I ever trust her with such things again?
Should I not be angry and upset?

Two wrongs never make one right.
Venting my frustration would not change situation.
Nor would harbouring unforgiveness helped.
If any, it would bring forth my ugliness.

Am I such a saint?
No, not really. Hardly one, ever.

I just didn’t want to forget hard-earned lessons.

One of which cost me a dear friend once.
I did the “I-am-hurt-so-I-hurt-you-back” tango, instead of the forgiveness waltz, in my anger.
Until it was too late.

My parting SMS as we left KL that day:

”Bro, we have managed to book a new flight home.
Please tell Mom not to worry, everything is fine.
We all make mistakes. Today is her turn.
Love to Mom.”

The ground beneath the Cross, as they say, is even.
None holier, and none more righteous.
Someday, my turn will come.

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

~ Colossians 3:13 (Bible)

Dancing With MJ

2009-08-13T23:08:00.002+08:00

Jasmine and I watched MJ the other day.
She has heard of him in the news, but did not know who he was (or why the fuss).

Simply had to show her the MAN.

I could see that my girl was mesmerised by MJ and his dance moves. Her eyes were practically glued to the TV screen when I showed “Bad”, “Billie Jean”, “Smooth Criminal”, “Black or White” and the likes.

In fact, we actually caught her secretly trying to mimic him while I was away at the toilet. Hilarious!

I smiled seeing Jasmine’s fascination with MJ.
Certainly brought back fond memories of yesteryears.

It is amazing how MJ has transcended the years and generations with his music. He was a man way ahead of his time. The King of Pop title was apt - pop world would have not been the same if not for him.
I shall miss him. Thank you, MJ!

Jasmine’s favourite MJ song so far?

“They Don’t Care About Us”

Her reason?
“Smooth Criminal” was too fast to dance to.
For now. *smile*

Hmm.. Like father, like daughter?

“There are people dying. If you care enough for the living. Make a better place for you and for me”

~ Michael Jackson (Heal The World)

Divine Appointment

2009-08-10T23:45:00.002+08:00

We had a rare evening, didn’t we?

Last month’s surreal night is still fresh on my mind.
The dinner, the conversation, our slow stroll in the park.

Would life be different had we done this earlier?
One could but wondered.

Life won’t be life without its twisted ironies.
Who would have guess that a place of sadness could be the same, exact venue of inspired hope?

They would say it was pure coincidence.

I called it divine appointment.

Is there really second chance in life?
To trade the commas, semi-colons and full stops.
For undos, finds and replacements?

He knoweth best.
The idealistic me shall dare to dream.

“Our disappointment is His divine appointment”

~ Walker Moore

Cheers To Friendship!

2009-08-07T22:29:00.012+08:00

Dear Friends,

What can I say but thank you.

I had a truly wonderful and memorable time in Penang last weekend. Never had as good a time in 22 years!
Well, better late than never!

It was great to see everyone again.

The event was excellent, and the company superb.

Our SP girls never aged one bit! Unlike the guys –
fatter, thinner, grey hair, less hair, no hair..

Thank you organisers!
Siew Bee, Rowe, Hui Yunn, Ray, Miyen, Tina and Ching.
It would never be possible without your selflessness. Thanks to your family for their understanding too.

Thank you friends who came!
All the 40+ of you from near and far, who made time
to turn up despite the heavy rain. The reunion would have meant nothing without your presence.
You were the true stars that night!

It takes courage to be friends again, being out of touch for so long. Past memories can be bittersweet, and the thought of confronting them can be daunting. Escapism would have been the easier option.

I know. I was once there.

But, in reaching out, I have gained much.
I have found my long lost friendships, and with that, a chance to relive history and precious moments again.

Not many joys in life is as wonderful as the happiness of rekindled friendships. That much I know now.

For those absent, I still hope we can meet someday.
In good time. When you are ready. *smile*

Here’s to many great moments of friendship ahead!

Cheers to SP and to us!

“

Keep smiling, keep shining.
Knowing you can always count on me for sure. That's what friends are for.

”

~ Dionne Warwick & Friends (That’s What Friends Are For)

Love Takes Sacrifices

2009-08-04T21:19:00.002+08:00

I remain fearful and a doubter.
But some happiness is better than total misery.
Something’s got to give.

May the Lord gives courage along this untrodden path.
With love and understanding to guide our feet.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

“

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference”

~ The Serenity Prayer

My “Almost” Careers

2009-08-01T14:00:00.005+08:00

I am looking forward to this weekend. We are having our first SP reunion in Penang. After 22 long years.

Since I am in a nostalgic mood, let me share about my misadventures while contemplating my career moves, growing up then in SP.

1. An Airline Pilot

I had a job offer from SIA for cadet pilot. Honestly, the truth why I went for the interview was because of free return air-ticket, free lodging, and crucially, free time for coffee breaks ogling at stewardess *wink*

2. A Breakdancer
In those days, cool moonwalks, mannequin moves, spins would get you lots of attention from girls (what else!). Sadly, we attracted the wrong kind of attention. Police caught us strutting our stuff on the street. At midnight!

3. A Disc Jockey
I was the de facto DJ at house parties. Who else could single-handedly managed a non-stop dance party by furiously switching cassette tapes on a stereo player?
CJ (Cassette Jockey) rules! See Ma, no disc!

Obviously, I never had my ways since Dad believed that one needed a “real” job in life. As in - a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, or engineer. Pick one.

Guess we ended up with a compromise.

I am now an IT geek.

“Don’t confuse having a career with having a life”

~ Hillary Clinton

Superdad

2009-07-29T23:57:00.014+08:00

I am famous in Perth. Literally.
With a bunch of awe-struck teachers and kids.

Bumped into Jasmine’s form teacher the other day.
She exclaimed before I could introduced myself:

“Oh, so you are the flying Superdad!”.

I am?

You see, my daughter’s class has a weekly session called “News Day”. A few student would get picked each slot to share recent happenings in their lives. What, who, when, where, and how he or she felt. Anything could be used to illustrate - photos, pictures, toys, etc.

I was told that Jasmine would yakked enthusiastically to her class about my job, travels and our adventures together. Knowing my princess, she could well hold all of them in awe. If not anything, surely for her antics and “drama-mama” ways.

I guess that most daughters would be proud of their fathers as children. Every little girl grows up wanting to believe that she has the best Dad in the world..

I am hardly a perfect Dad.
At best, I could only captivate my child’s imagination for just a while longer. Buy a bit more time before she finds holes and spots in my immaculate cape.

May God strengthens our bond to last a lifetime.

I need to be in Antarctica soon.
By now, Jasmine might have shown off her artistic take of my travel destinations during “News Day”.

Hmm, Superdad to morph into Superpenguin?
Happy Feet, anyone?

“

I’m only a man, in a funny red sheet. I’m only a man, looking for a dream. I’m only a man, in a funny red sheet, and it's not easy to be me..”

~ Five for Fighting (Superman)

Balinese Spa In-Transit

2009-07-26T02:01:00.001+08:00

The Mission	:	Get a 3-hour spa by the beach in Bali, between 2 connecting flights.

Complete By	:	6 hours to next flight (incl check-in).

Why Do It?	:	Why rot in the airport?!

How?	:	Run. Very fast. Like hell.
	:	Find a place to dump the luggage.
	:	Find a good taxi driver.
	:	Pray.

Difficult?	:	It was insane.

The Rewards	:	Balinese massage.
	:	Mini facial.
	:	Body scrub and mask.
	:	Herbal bath (jacuzzi wiith flowers!)
	:	Tea and cake.
	:	A beautiful evening sunset :-)

The Damage	:	USD 60 (all in!)

Conclusion	:	Felt good to be spontaneous again! Que sera sera. Josh is back!

“When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade.”

~ Dale Carnegie

A Home Boy, Always

2009-07-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

To most people, I am a Malaysian from Penang.
That is true – I was indeed born there.

However, not many knew that my childhood years were largely spent in a small town called Sungai Petani, or SP, in the neighbouring state of Kedah.

SP was a typical Malaysian town.
Drab, sleepy and not much activities (then). No KFC, McDonalds, clubs, fancy coffee joints, or big shopping centres. Public infrastructure was rudimentary, at times dodgy (try waiting for transport at a bus stop then!)

But, life in SP was simple and easy.
People were warm and sincere. It really did not matter then if you were black or white (no puns intended).
We were all friends – we played, ate and bunked in each other’s homes, and co-existed in peace and harmony. SP was our home, and we were truly happy.

I am a citizen of Southeast Asia now.
Jet-setting and plying my trade in big cities and societies which are hurried, demanding and at best, superficial. This is the price that we paid for the so-called progress and prospects.

Despite being away, SP has never left my side.
I remained very much a small town boy, at heart.

For that, I am thankful.

"Home is a place where you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to."

~ John Pearce

Lightning On Same Spot

2009-07-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

I have just landed from Surabaya when I heard the shocking news that

Jakarta was hit by a bomb attack around 8am this morning.

9 people died and over 50 were injured.
The strike targets – Ritz Carlton and JW Marriott.

In case you forget or did not know, the latter was also hit by a bomb explosion on 5 Aug 2003.

Unbelievable. Indonesia must be the only place on this planet that lightning can strike the same place twice.

Just when I thought that things are looking up after a successful election last week, this has to happen.
Is this terrorism or politically-motivated move?
No one really knows.

One thing for sure – this is a senseless act.

Stupidity at its best.

Thanks to all who called or SMS to ask about my safety. I am fine and well. Please pray for comfort for the bereaved and injured. They needed it most.

It is a sad day for Indonesia.

“On and on the rain will fall, like tears from a star, like tears from a star.. On and on the rain will say, how fragile we are, how fragile we are..”

~ Sting (Fragile)

Extreme Makeover, Toad-Style

2009-07-15T10:00:00.004+08:00

Can you turn toads into Prince Charming?

Do magic.

*Zap*, *poof*, *voila*.

Make fat, ugly-looking creatures become tall, dark and handsome princes. Instant knights in shining armour.

Just like that.

Of course!

Decide that the company needed a professional image refresh in line with changing times.

Make your people asset, your executives, the central theme of the image rebranding photo shoot. Always the best way to show case a company’s image, and of course, to save costs (you don’t need to pay them!)

Pick a good image consultant. The more artistically inclined and liberated, the better. Heck, make that the more “broken-wrist” and effeminate, the better..

On that fateful day, harassed and huddled the bunch of nerdy, stressed-out and sleep-deprived executives into a room. Tell them their mission was to look good.
Do or die. Period.

Have Mr Effeminate takes his own sweet time to arrange them into the right poses, based on his artistic sense (Hello, can you like please don’t come too close?
You are really not my type, OK?)

When all is ready, then camera, lights, and action!
*Zap*, *poof*, and *voila* Magic!

Thank God kisses were not included in the package!
Eeeuuwww! Yucks!

“It’s not easy being green.”

~ Kermit The Frog

Learning To Be A Child

2009-07-12T15:00:00.015+08:00

Something caught my attention yesterday.

It was a photo of a man sitting alone by the seaside.
The backdrop was gloomy, as if heavy rain and storm was impending. A sombre, black and white scene.
Rather depressing.

Melancholic? Loneliness? Weary? Troubled?
I was so engrossed that I did not see my girl standing beside me. She had wanted to ask me something.

”What do you see, princess?”

Jasmine looked intently at it for a while. Then she paused, as if to think, before replying.

”Peace”.

I was surprised and taken aback.
Why peace? Didn’t the photo looked sad?
Wasn’t that man alone? Without friends or loved ones?
What if a storm came? Won’t he be worried since there was no shelter around?

My 6-year old daughter gave me a puzzled look.
As if she had expected her dad to have already knew the answer. She then calmly said.

“Because God is with him. And God will give peace to that man when he is sad or afraid. Won’t He, Dad?”

Amen, princess. Daddy is proud of you.
You have grown up well. May God be pleased with your faith, and bless you with continuing wisdom! Thanks for the reminder. Forgive my little faith, Lord!

Are you alone? Is a storm staring you in the face

?
May you have faith like a child.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

~ Matthew 6:26 (Bible)

Let’s Make Time, Friends

2009-07-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

One of my old SP friends, whom I have been recently reconnected with again, said this to me:

”Our biggest mistake was not about failing to keep in touch for the past 20 years; it would be to lose each other again for the next 20 now that we have met”.

Friends,

There will always be a reason, an excuse not to meet.
I, for one, would be among the chief culprits.

Dare yourself. Make this time an exception.

There may not be a better day again to meet.

Look forward to see you soon.

Then

Remember then, dreaming of when

Our childhood fears, would be gone with the years.

Now we look at the past, wondering why it didn't last.

Days in the hot sun, always having fun.

Going for a ride, letting the bike glide.

Biking, sledding, swimming, swinging,

Days of old, never to be sold.

Signs of change, widely range.

Moving away, no more play.

Friends forever, talk almost never.

Through the years, our lives shift gears.

Laughter, smiles, fears, miles,

Distant souls, drifting goals.

Friendship the art, connects our hearts.

Now that it is when, we dream of Then.

~ Amanda Jenkins

“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.”

~ Robert Brault (A Reader)

O Vanity!

2009-07-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

Scene One
Man:   Hurry up! We are going to be late.
Girl:    I am, I am.. Just need to change my clothes.
Man:   OK. Be quick. Wear this skirt.
Girl:    I don’t like it. I want to wear the green one.
Man:   Fine. Put it on, with this T-shirt. Let’s go!

Girl:    Noooo! That’s only for home, not shopping!
Man:   Quicklyyyy please.. We are really late.
Girl:    OK. Here it is. I will wear this one.
Man:   Great! Shall we go now?
Girl:    Wait. I need my hair band too.
Man:   Sigh. Just bring along. Wear it in the car.
Girl:    OK. Let’s go…
Man:   (turned and walked towards the car)
Girl:    No!

Wait! Waittttt!!!

Man:   What now?
Girl:    My hair band is blue. I don’t have another one.
Man:   So?
Girl:    The colour does not match. I need to change

          my clothes again.
Man:   …………

Scene Two
Girl:    Can I see the photo from the other day?
Man:   Here you go.. see..

Girl:    Ohh.. very nice.. I like it.
Man:   Yes, very nice. Everyone is smiling.
Girl:

Do you think it is a nice photo?

Man:   Of course. It is lovely photo.
Girl:    We looked pretty, don’t we?
Man:   Sure, you both do.
Girl:    Yes. Especially me.
Man:

…………

“

A daughter is a treasure - and a cause of sleeplessness.”

~ Ben Sirach

The Pursuit Of Happyness

2009-07-01T16:26:00.001+08:00

Many of you would remember the movie “The Pursuit Of Happyness”, starring Will Smith.

The movie was an adaptation of the biography of Chris Gardner, a self-made millionaire. It showed how he had to struggle through poverty, rejection, divorce, homelessness, loneliness and the burden of caring for his growing son, before finding success in life.

Happiness is something personal to each one of us.
We define it based on our own experience, beliefs and upbringing. This leads us onto individual quests and pursuits of happiness;

paths which may converged, or diverged away from one another.

One thing for sure – the pursuits will get harder if one could not find contentment along the way.

Listen to Westlife “Flying Without Wings”.
Thought the lyrics were apt to describe happiness.

A photo made me smile today.

It has been a long while since I saw such happiness.
That meant a lot to me. I was glad and assured.
The journey had been worth it.

Congratulations, dear friend.

Hope you found what you have been looking for.
Peace be in your heart today.
Stay happy always.

“Some find it in the face of their children. Some find it in their lover's eyes. Who can deny the joy it brings. When you found that special thing, you're flying without wings.”

~ Westlife (Flying Without Wings)

Letting Go

2009-06-26T05:50:00.000+08:00

Must you always..
.. be so hard on yourself?

Have you not done enough?
Giving it your best shot, strive hard?
Showing concern, providing guidance and direction?

Have you not care, not love, not be there?
Are you totally irresponsible and unfair?
Was it not your all?

I am so weary..
The struggles and turmoil within.
The pain and sadness.
Yet, the continuing stalemate

Lord, please..
The burdens are heavy, and the crosses unbearable..

If it is in Your will, take them with You.
Far, far away..

Let me rest.

“At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How could you be so slow"… "My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did let go.."

~ Robert J. Burdette (Broken Dreams)

The Project

2009-06-20T17:23:00.001+08:00

I have finally completed the project today.
Exactly 100 days since it first started.

It arose from a conversation on 10 March 2009.
Work was slow at first. But, over time, it became apparent that it was urgent to be completed.
At all costs.

Honesty can leave one vulnerable.
An open book, to be read from page to page.
Truth hurts and may cause deep pain.

Is it worth the risk then?

Yes, if you care about what was on hand.
Yes, if it unburdens others to move on.
Yes, if this restores lost faith again.
And yes, if you believe that reconciliation is possible. Someday.

I have done my best to atone for flawed ways and wisdom. Forgive me if it was not good enough.
At the very least, believe that I have been sincere throughout the days. May the passage of time brings healing and renewed ties.

Lord,
You alone understand this soul well.
Only You know how much this matters to him.
And, how difficult it is to let go.

Thank You for not giving up on me. Someday, I know You will make things beautiful for me again.

“Though it’s hard to let you go, in the Father’s hand we know.. That a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends.”

~ Michael W Smith (Friends)

Saved by Friends & Food, Twice!

2009-06-15T17:21:00.000+08:00

I live a nomadic life in my job, in case you don’t know. Why? Long story, another day :-)

So, how would I spend my weekends?
Well, you will likely find me plonked in one of the many Southeast Asia capital cities, if not for Perth.

What I usually do is to fly on Friday or Saturday into a place where I would be starting my work on the following week. With the exception of Vietnam, Myanmar and Laos, I have done the rest of them.

The last couple of weeks had not been in particularly easy for me. So, I was really thankful to be around old friends, who put up with my nonsense.

Thank you, Ray and Koh, for your wonderful hospitality.
I am grateful for the great food and company over the past 2 weekends in KL and Singapore.

It felt good to have home-cooked food for a change; from Sarawak Laksa to Penang Laksa, and Popiah to Penang Char Koay Teow. Amazing repertoire!

Please thank your lovely wives and family too.
They made the difference!

Cheers!

“There are three types of friends: those like food, without which you can't live; those like medicine, which you need occasionally; and those like an illness, which you never want.”

~ Unknown

Quagmire

2009-06-10T05:38:00.000+08:00

I am mentally exhausted.

It has been an emotional, rollercoaster week.
Feeling rather lost and vulnerable.

Can you read my mind?

The restless, deafening silence.
I don't want to be alone for another weekend.

Not this weekend, not in Singapore.
Just can't do it.

I am gonna jump on a plane, and disappear to Perth tomorrow.

Hunt for that perfect, gigantic tree in King's Park.
Sit under it and chill (literally, it's winter!)

Que sera sera.

"

I don't wanna be the girl who has to feel the silence,
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.”

~ Pink (Sober)

Never Live With Regret

2009-06-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

The mom of a good friend is lifeless in a coma.

She had a major heart attack last weekend.
Surgery did not go well - post op review showed that a blood clot has blocked oxygen circulation to her brain. She suffered permanent brain damage.

My friend

rushed back from HK to see her. But, it was too late. She was already unconscious by then.

One could sense the deep remorse in my friend’s voice when we spoke yesterday.

He is a workaholic. Driven and passionate in whatever he does. His successful career took 80% of his time away from home.
He last met his mom 2 months ago.

I thought of my own parents who are close to 70 now. Thankfully, they are still well and healthy.

Looking back, I realised that activities during our past meetings were unimportant to my parents. They were just happy to see me in person. They had only wanted to know if their son was alright.

Time is not on their side. God willing, I intend to make good on shared time in their remaining years.

Friends, better a day spent with your parents present, then a year of mourning when they are gone.
Don't live with regret.

父生我身，母鞠我身。腹以怀我，乳以哺我。
以衣温我，以食饱我。恩高如天，德厚似地。
为人子者，曷不为孝。

“My father raised me, my mother nourished me.
A bosom to cherish me, a
breast to nurse me.
Clothing to warm me, food to feed me. Kindness higher than the sky, morals deeper than the earth. Son of man, why not be filial?”

~ Chinese Proverbs

O Daughter Of Mine

2009-06-01T12:26:00.000+08:00

I am told that my little girl reads my blog now and then (some part of it, as least). Hmm, thought it was supposed to be the other way around??

In any case, here’s for Jasmine. This is one story that your Dad is definitely going to tell during your wedding dinner someday ;-)

09.02.04 (4:37 pm)

Jasmine has been quite a revelation to us.

At 17+ months now, she has been nothing short of amazing - able to recognise random alphabets, numbers and to rattle off words after being taught once, and even now trying to pick up nursery rhymes.

Anyway, since she could name the pets and cattle, I thought I would take it a step forward and get her to sound like each of the animals as I call them out.

"Jasmine, how does a cat sounds like?"
"Meow, meow.." (softly)

"Good. How does a pig sounds like?"
"Oink, oinkkkkkkk.." (pained look as words squeezed out from her mouth)

"Very good. How does a dog sounds like?"
She lifted her head, with a faraway look in her eyes, earnestly and confidently went:

"Moo.. Moooooo... MOooooOOoooooooOOOoooo"

Oh well.

“We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.”

~ Phyllis Diller

My Next Escapade

2009-05-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

I love places with rich culture and natural beauty.
Especially around Asia, which I considered to be my homeground.

Which is strange why I had never made it to Vietnam all these years. Despite that it is within the radar of my jetsetting job. Duh!

In particularly, I wanted to see Halong Bay, Hanoi.
It is a designated UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1994. This award is given in recognition of its exceptional natural beauty and biological interests.

It is a pretty sight from what I was told. Some 1,600 islands and islets which formed a spectacular seascape of limestone pillars. Most islands uninhabited and unaffected by human presence.

So, for my next travel, I want to go to Halong Bay.

Laze on the deck of a junk,
While cruising down the beautiful Bay.
Soak in its calm and uninterrupted surroundings,
Feel the warm glow of the orange sun.
Watch the setting sun casts gigantic silhouettes,
Over the spectacular limestone pillars and caves,
Whistle a familiar tune, reminisce, smile..
And, have my wine ;-)

Who's coming?

“A tourist sees what he has come to see, the traveller sees what he sees.”

~ G K Chesterton

An Unexpected Gift

2009-05-21T15:04:00.000+08:00

This has not been the best of week for me. Work and lots of other things on my mind.

So, I was pleasantly surprised when PGH passed me a gift over coffee this morning.

It was a hand-made bookmark, with my name on it.
She said that this was my unclaimed present from an appreciation day in 2006 (?!).

Thank you, my dears, for the gift.
This may be simple and belated, but know that Josh appreciates it just the same. You don't know how much it meant to him. Especially today..

You made my day!

“A gift from the heart is priceless.”

~ Unknown

The Josh You Never Knew

2009-05-18T01:35:00.000+08:00

In the still of night, I found myself asking a question..

What is the worst kind of person that I could possibly end up being someday?

A Josh who has given up.
One who stopped believing in inspiration and passion.
He who no longer pursued excellence and goodness.
And, disregarded grace and compassion.

A man embittered by his past..
Who seared his conscience, drank the poisoned chalice. To feed his darkened and conceited human soul,
Amidst the colourless world of cynics.

Lord,

Show mercy and grace.
This imperfect soul will stumbled if I had to walk this jouney alone in this life..

Be my guiding light in the days of darkness.
My shelter from storms and turbulence.
My refuge in fear and loneliness.
My comfort in sadness.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.”

~

Philippians 4:8 (Bible)

Second Chance

2009-05-14T09:45:00.000+08:00

If life offers you a second chance..

Would you turn back,
And return to the starting point,
Erase past mistakes,
Do things differently this time around,

Rewrite the course of history for a perfect life?

Or, would you politely decline,

Choose instead to move forward,
Let go of past baggage,
Travel lighter and faster,

Face the unknown,
Believe that the best is yet to be?

“Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time. You were always on my mind..”

~ Elvis Presley (Always on My Mind)

All the Unspoken Thanks

2009-05-10T05:15:00.000+08:00

Thanks Mom,

For time spent in wee hours;
Praying for your faraway sons when insomnia set in.

For throwing me out the house when i stole from you;
I won't know brotherly love until they pleaded my case.

For reminding that future is as bright as God’s promises;
In my sorrows when I almost failed the crucial exams.

For trying to domesticate me;
Taught me to clean, cook and appreciate the efforts too.

For working hard to earn a living;
Yet dutifully tutor me with your limited time.

For putting family above self;
During difficult times of conflicts with your in-laws.

For those laughter and tears;
As we shared stories beside your dresser table at night.

And, most of all, for showing us;
That if you could love us despite our faults,
how much more your God will too.

May God makes His face shine upon you,
His love embraces you, His grace guides you,
His mercy and goodness follows you,
All the days of your life.

Happy Mother's Day.

Love You Always,
Your Son

“Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same. Most mothers kiss and scold together.”

~

Pearl S Buck (The Mother)

Peace Of Mind

2009-04-30T00:59:00.000+08:00

Come away with me,
Indulge for just a moment.

Close your eyes.. and imagine..

The warm noonday sun..
Brilliantly bright and sparkling sea..
The distance sound of endless, lapping waves..
A gentle breeze that caresses the face..
The tranquillity of existence.

O how I long to be there right now.

“

The poor long for riches, the rich long for heaven, but the wise long for peace of mind.”

~

Unknown

I Call Her Jasmine

2009-04-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

This is Jasmine.

She just turned 6.

She lives in Perth, Australia.
She loves to dress up, read and dance.
Her favourite colour is pink.

Jasmine is a bubbly girl and social butterfly.
She has lots of

friends from all nationalities in her school. She really loves parties and play dates.

It is actually debatable as to whom Jasmine takes after.
Many thinks she resembles her dad. Yet, there are equally some who said otherwise.

One thing for sure.

Everyone agreed she’s a darling.

My princess, you mean the world to your Daddy.
He misses you lots, and will see you soon.

Kisses and hugs.

“Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right. To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.”

~ Bob Carlisle (Butterfly Kisses)

I Need To Believe Again

2009-04-21T12:33:00.000+08:00

I have not been true to myself for a while.

When I was much younger, I used to be fascinated with words. Books, letters, notes, poems, ideas, quotes, ramblings. Reading, writing, penning my thoughts.

Words were my safest form of expression.

The

cover for my insecurities.

A solace in trouble.

My escapism.

Something changed along the way.
I became disinterested, disenchanted, disillusioned.
My conviction is no longer as strong.

Perhaps it was the busyness of my career demands.
The cynicism of living, or simply, age.
I just lost faith.

I desperately needed to believe again.

“It’s only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.”

~ Bee Gees (Words)